Thank You God for where I am. I am not where I could have been, so for such I say equally "Thank You" and "I'm sorry." There is so much more that could have been done. But I , in my stubborn human ways, fought You and Your will. I chose to be comfortable and not a Christian, popular instead of proactive. I said "I love You God," but didn't really understand the Words... until I felt them. Playing the part became so easy. I played it so well that I convinced even myself.
Deception I became.
Deceiver I did serve.
Ruined my life, my heart and soul.
For You I lost my nerve.
Lord I want to make it up to You. For all that I should have done, please endow me with the Spirit, so as to complete the tasks designated for me. I should have been more for You, for others, and for myself. The damage caused by my leisure Christian life replays in my mind, because all of my decisions did not reflect the life of Christ. Had I made decisions regarding my walk with Christ, I would have made better choices and elevated others instead of potentially bringing them to transgression.
Aside from such, the past is the past and can be used to learn valuable life lessons. I could continue to find reasons to say "I'm sorry", but " Thank You" deserves more energy. Father God, Your grace and mercy has caused me to have a life full of opportunities of which I am no more than unworthy to receive. There have been times that I, in my own stupidity, came close to destruction, yet You delivered me. You continue to make Your grace available, when my actions would call for the opposite to be so. So as I speak to You, I thank You. For Who You are; who You are making me to be; the very life that I live; the progressions as well as the hindrances; persons who would advance me as well as those who would do me harm; for all these I give thanks and gratitude for which I could never be ashamed nor could I deny. You, the Father of all, have taken a portion of Your ever precious time and not only made me, but You molded and shaped me. Fall fresh upon me Lord, and I will do what is desired of me, to the glory of Thine Holy Name, now and even until this vessel shall be no more!
"Now unto Him, Who is able to keep you from falling, and present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To the only wise God our Savior, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever.Amen." Jude1:24-25
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